"If We Are the Body"

Now that we are attending a new church (again), I thought I'd take a brief moment to talk about our church-going experience since moving to Florida.  It's been an interesting one, to say the least.  I'm so thankful I was exposed to so many denominations growing up, because it encouraged me try a church regardless of it's name.  My parents have always taught us its not about the name of the church but about their doctrine. If a church is proclaiming that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, came in a manger and died an innocent death on a cross, buried in a tomb and risen 3 days later to ascend alive into Heaven, and that church encourages people to not focus on a religion but on having a personal relationship with Jesus, then my goodness that is a church worth attending! 

Brian and I have attended 8ish churches in the Central Florida area over the last 3.5 years and have really enjoyed some while nearly walking out of others.  We were so pleased to find First Baptist Orlando, but after moving the opposite direction from that church just 4 months after becoming regular attenders there, we decided to begin our search again.  Although my first experience at Celebration Community Church, the church we would settle at for nearly 2 years was a negative one, once we took the step of getting involved in a small group, it ended up being a place we would be very thankful for during the most difficult transition of our life...becoming parents.  There were quite a few women who rallied around me and encouraged me during my pregnancy and after Carly arrived.  I will forever be grateful for those women and truly couldn't have entered motherhood without them.  The church is very involved in global ministry and is quite a family, growing more each and every week.  I'm so glad to have been a part of it for the time we were. 

It was hard to decide to church shop again, but bottom line was that CCC had became a half hour drive after our move this summer, and we desperately needed Christian friends who lived in our same town and community.  We also needed a church with mid-week programming, since the head of our household is unable to attend church on Sunday mornings. 

As a pregnant mama with a baby on her hip and no husband at her side walking into a new church, I'm not treated very well.  It's awful.  I am ashamed at the thought of how Christians judge one another before even having a conversation.  The first church I tried alone I wasn't even spoken to until I asked if there was a nursery I could take my 18-month old to.  Even then no one tried to make conversation with me.  But when I walk into a church as a pregnant mama, with a baby on my hip AND a husband at my side, we get bombarded with welcomes.  This has been the pattern at EACH of the 8 churches over the past 3.5 years.  Why?  Because a young family has something to offer.  A young family is going to get involved in ministry and be an asset to the church.  A "single" mom, or someone who perceivingly doesn't have the support of her husband, has nothing to offer.  She isn't going to tithe much, she's going to be too busy with her young ones to be involved in ministry, lead a small group, volunteer for nursery, greeter, usher, communion, worship team, you name it.  So why waste time pouring into her when you will receive nothing in return?  It was so sad.  I've come home bummed on several occasions. 

Quite honestly, HBC (our now church home) wasn't any different.  I think most churches really need to work on their welcoming strategies.  BUT...I dropped Carly off in the nursery, walked into their auditorium, listened to their worship and the preaching that went on that day and felt incredibly comfortable.  Finally...a church that felt like home.  Finally.  A big (near mega-size) church with a huge band and a pastor who was willing to yell from the pulpit about ridding ourselves of the filth of sin we live in.  Home.  I wasn't greeted, barely spoken to, but at least I didn't feel judged and I knew this church was a Christ-centered place (I had a very similar comfort level when I first attended CCC as well...just minus the "mega-church" part). 

I was so excited to share my experience with Brian and the next week couldn't wait to attend a newcomers class I saw in the bulletin.  Again, even in that small classroom of people, I wasn't greeted well.  I was SO bummed.  Here is this church I can tell has good intentions but falls short when it comes to reaching out to the single pregnant lady.  I loved the course material, however.  I loved what the teacher had to say about their foundation.  So even though I once again left without being greeted, I gave it one more chance.  The next week I got up and INTRODUCED myself to the teacher, deciding to take matters into my own hands.  I requested to be introduced to a small group in my area and just a few days later I received a call from a man who invited us to his home and seemingly couldn't wait to meet our family.  We now attend a small group with 10 couples who have 13 children and 5 on the way to be born this spring.  We are very happy with the church and I continue to love going each and every week.  Carly ADORES Sunday School and also cheers as we walk into the BEAUTIFUL building. 

So why write this post about our experience?  Well, I have 3 points to make.

1. If you are someone who is well established in a church, please, please take the time to not only shake someone's hand but ask them a few questions.  Even if you have no idea if that person has been attending the church for a year or is there for the first time...if they are new to you...reach out.
2. Stop judging a book by it's cover.  As Christians we are called to love, particularly the "least of these" or someone who looks like they might be among that group.  I challenge you to take that extra step and find the person who looks most uncomfortable, or the person who appears like she has her hands full with a toddler on her hip and a baby in her womb with no husband.  Likely, she really needs you.
3. If you're church shopping, take the time to walk up to an info table, introduce yourself and state that you are new.  Fill out the info sheet in the bulletin and then give them a chance to contact you.  The individuals of the body are often not trained to greet you, but the people at the info desk should be. Is it awkward? Yes.  But it's worth it in the long run.

And if you want a good song to help you take the step of introducing yourself to someone at your church who looks new, listen to "If We Are the Body" by Casting Crowns. :)