Luke 6:38
"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
We chose this verse for Luke after hearing a lesson spoken on it at church in September. Our desire is that Luke can grow in faith & love while following hard after his Savior. We hope that Luke can give of himself to his family, to his church and to his God: pressed down, shaken together and running over. Give all that he has to give, pursue with all that he can pursue with.
My birth story with Luke is quite different than my birth story with miss C. I had a an OB apt early Monday morning. I hadn't progressed from the week before and was measuring 2cm & 70% effaced. My midwife asked me if I wanted my membranes stripped, and without knowing much about that I said OK! My first fairly painful contraction came in the car on our drive to the Boardwalk, where I had planned to spend the rest of the morning allowing Carly to run around in the beautiful 60 degree weather. I continued to have significant contractions all day long, to the point that I texted one of my best friends & my mama that they were painful enough to have to stop and breathe through them. My mom texted back, "are you sure you're not in labor??" I told her I was sure. ;) About 5pm they became quite regular, moving from 7 minutes to 5 minutes within the hour. I was texting Brian at work each time I would have one. By the time he got home I got on the floor and began to cry. At that moment I had decided that I wasn't ready to have this baby yet and I certainly wasn't ready to leave my daughter. I knew I was in labor and knew our lives were about to change quite drastically. Carly saw me crying and came running over to give me a hug & kiss. She's such a sweetheart. I got out my exercise ball, texted my midwife & called my mom. Then I called my friend & neighbor, Jess to come play with Carly until her nanny, Jen, could arrive to spend the night. Brian packed up the car while I bounced and ate a big bowl of cereal. I could barely say goodbye to Carly without crying...but she loves Jess, so she was occupied with playing, which I was so thankful for. Jen reported later that night that Carly was doing fine and had gone to bed quite nicely.
Triage was NOT a fun experience. When I delivered Carly at Celebration, I was escorted directly up to the Baby Place. I don't even remember checking in when we arrived at the ER. But, because Winnie Palmer Hospital is thee top birthing center in Florida, and in the top 5 nationally, their ER/Triage is set up to monitor a woman in labor. It took 3 hours before I was finally admitted. They wanted to get an IV going (which I begged for a saline lock but was not granted one) & wanted to get a good reading on babies heart rate as well as check me for dilation. All things I wanted nothing to do with (okay...I wanted to know my baby was fine...but I truly believed with all my heart that he was). I begged for a exercise ball and when denied one I took the liberty of doing hundreds and hundreds of squats...which of course did not allow for a great reading on baby's heart. My initial blood pressure was super high...and because I was deemed to have preeclampsia with Carly they were a bit nervous. I was like, "Hey! You took that during a contraction...don't make any decisions until you let me calm down and it's taken a few more times!" Brian was texting my midwife all throughout my time in triage which gave me a sense of peace that she was fighting for me to labor the way I wanted to. I know when you choose to give birth in a hospital there are going to be some restrictions...but I SO desired a natural birth, and knew what it would take to make that happen. Laying still in a bed was not in that plan.
So...after some vomiting & some tears, off to the delivery floor we went. The midwife on call that night had EXCELLENT bedside manner, and my sweet sweet nurse did everything in her power to allow me to labor the way I wanted. We had to compromise where I had 5 minutes my way, 5 minutes their way. After about 4 hours of proving my baby was just fine, I was finally allowed to be free of the monitors for an hour or so. I spent the majority of my entire labor doing squats or bouncing quite vigorously on the ball. A few times I crawled into bed and had Brian put pressure on my back, and a few times I put my head in my elbows and stood at the end of the bed while Brian put pressure on my back. We tried the tub but that was a FAIL. OUCH! Oh man, folks, labor is seriously the worst pain EVER. I had forgotten how painful it was until we were in the car and my contractions were getting stronger. I said to Brian, "oh...I remember this pain now!"
Labor is a mental game. It's a time where you have to relax while you feel like you are being stabbed with knives. When you are nearing the end of pregnancy, it is quite common for women to share their birth stories with you. Some women would prefer to not talk about it, particularly those horror stories we hear, but I enjoy the topic. I spent a lot of time absorbing how my colleagues, friends & family had experienced labor, especially labor for the second time. Because of this, I went into my labor with Luke expecting it to be half the time of my 14-hour labor with Carly. I had very few tell me that their second labor was as long or as difficult as their first. So...why would mine be any different? I should have never ever set my expectations to that. Luke's labor only ended up being an hour shorter than Carly's. So mentally, when I hit the 10-hour mark & my water had yet to break and I had only progressed to 6cm, I began to lose my mental strength.
Labor is also a physical game. My frequent readers know how hard I worked to stay in the best shape I could while I was pregnant. I was determined to not gain the 70 pounds I gained with C, but I was also determined to give my body the strength to get through a natural labor. I knew my legs could handle doing hundreds of squats and I knew I could work with my muscles to relax. I knew I had withstood labor pains once & was confident I could do it again. Once again, that 10-hour mark rolled around and I lost the strength to relax. I was tired. I was sweaty. I was frustrated that I was working with gravity and this baby wasn't coming. I had been awake for 24 hours. I was done.
Because I was no longer progressing, I knew it was time to break my water. I kept hearing voices from friends saying that after water breaks it becomes more painful. WRONG! I spent my entire labor with Carly with a broken sack and I can tell you now that in my case, contractions are every bit as painful whether that water is broken or not! Why didn't I listen to myself? I began to wonder if after my water was broken if I'd be able to endure even worse pain than I was already enduring. I also wondered how many more hours I could continue in hard labor. I also.....knew how great getting an epidural feels. I knew relief was just a few minutes away any time I was ready to take it. Oh how that is SO hard to deny when you are mentally & physically spent! I looked up at my nurse and said, "I know it's a fail...but I'm ready for the epidural." She assured me it was not a fail and asked why I thought that. I told her I so badly wanted to feel what a natural labor felt like; to which she responded. "Girl you've felt it all night long!"
The needle in my back was no big deal (isn't it funny that compared to labor pains a huge needle being stuck in your back doesn't even hurt?) and it immediately took the edge off. I was ready to get the show on the road...so up next was bursting my water. I was SO happy when the midwife announced it was clear! I rested for about 20 minutes before feeling pushing contractions and began bearing down. My nurse checked me and guess who went from a 6 to a 10 almost immediately? This girl. I began pushing and another 20 minutes later Luke had arrived! The nurse looked at me and said..."I don't think you got your money worth on that epidural!" She was right...the feeling hadn't even been totally taken away yet. But it really was much less painful. I did enjoy getting to feel Luke arrive, though, compared to not feeling a darn thing with Carly. Had I known Luke was going to be born less than an hour after breaking my water, I wouldn't have taken the meds, but I also wasn't willing to take the chance of having to endure more than another hour. The thought has also crossed my mind that perhaps bc the medicine helped me relax, it gave my body the chance to finish dilating. Perhaps because I had lost the strength to relax it would have taken longer without the epidural? I guess we will never know. Maybe by my 4th or 5th kid I'll be able to get through it without medical intervention. ;)
Healthy mama, healthy baby...can you ask for anything more? I will say that I REALLY enjoyed how considerate Winnie Palmer was of mama/baby bonding. They cleaned him off right on my belly and allowed for us to have an hour of skin to skin before they took him to get weighed. Luke began sucking his thumb almost immediately, so I explained to him that if he took his finger out of his mouth he could probably get some food. I was thankful for an instant latch. :) Nursing has been a piece of cake compared to C and my frustrating adventure. I'm also producing so much more milk with Luke than I did with Carly. Again, so thankful!
I love being in the hospital right after birth...it's so peaceful and such great bonding. Luke and I cuddled all day and all night! By evening I was ready to see my girl...so I was thankful to give her a big squeeze when she arrived with that man I love so much. It was fun to see my family of FOUR!
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