"Goodnight My Someone, Goodnight My Love"

Sleep training has begun and is in full fledged mode!  We have been thinking and praying about when to sleep train her for months now, and we felt a conviction that it was time.  We feel like we owe it to her to teach her how to sleep well...especially as she will be starting daycare in the fall.  It would be totally unfair for her not to know how to self soothe and then put her in an environment that she is unfamiliar with and expect her to succeed.  But we also didn't want to start too early.  So we fervently prayed over the matter and God most certainly put it on my heart to start. This will probably be a long post....so consider yourself warned! 

So...sleep training, you ask?  Well there are all types of sleep training methods, and like most things baby-related, you can bet I've done my homework! I've done so much reading that as I research I've started to stumble upon the same articles again.  There are methods that range from just leaving the room and letting them cry all the way to nursing and rocking them until over a year.  If I was a stay at home mom, I think I would have thought differently about it, but its just fact that she wont get to be rocked everyday, so I knew I had to phase that out.  There were two authors I enjoyed reading the most.  The first is Tracy Hogg, the author of Secrets of the Baby Whisperer.  The second, author Kim West in Good Night, Sleep Tight.  Both authors encourage the parent to offer reassurance as they comfort the baby each time they cry.  Hogg states to leave the room, come back every five minutes, pick the child up, soothe and put immediately back down.  West talks about a "shuffle," beginning next to the crib using touch to soothe and slowly moving away throughout a 3 week time period.  So the first 3-4 days you can touch the babe, the next 3-4 days you can only  use verbal coaching and by the 7th day you need to be sitting in the chair and not next to the crib.  By the end of the shuffle the goal is to be in the doorway or even in the hall.  So I liked that both of these ladies offered a solution that wasn't just letting her cry it out.  I knew that Hogg's method would be confusing for Carly, so although this is my favorite baby book I've read and would recommend it to ANYONE, I decided to go more with the "shuffle." However, I have done so much reading on the subject that I am also supplementing with other helpful tidbits I've picked up along the way.

We started the shuffle by setting a bedtime.  None of this..."we will put her to bed when she gets fussy."  We were essentially letting her take her naps as she needed them, and then putting her to bed 2 hours after she woke up from her last nap.  Sometimes that was at 8pm and others that was at 9pm.  So she was going to bed anywhere from 9:45pm-11pm.  Not okay.  Her bedtime is now 10pm plus or minus only 10 minutes.  As I transition to working daytime in September, that bedtime will move up to a more normal 8pm, but right now 10pm still works great.  We also established a bedtime routine of a bath or a warm rub down with a cloth (we only bathe her 2-3 times a week), powder, lotion, fresh diaper, sleeper, two books (Goodnight Moon & Goodnight Baby), a lullaby, a prayer and a bottle (or nurse if I'm home).  Then, after we got the bedtime straight we payed close attention to how long she could go without food.  One night she slept 9 hours without it...so that's what we agreed to stick to.  She had started waking up once or twice in the night...and I was so tired I just caved and brought her to bed with me.  I was feeding her when I really didn't need to be.  So for a week we worked hard to help her soothe herself back to sleep without food AND without picking her up.  That was such a long week as I was up with her a lot trying to get her back to sleep.  Sometimes 3 times in one night.  One night I didn't even go to bed until 5:15am!  It had been a late night at work so when I crawled into bed at 2:30am...that was the first time she woke up.  HA...it's okay though.  That week was so worth it!  Now she sleeps 9 hours straight almost every night.  Every now and then she wakes up before her 9 hours but we just offer the paci and she goes right back to sleep.

After bedtime and nighttime sleep were trained, we decided to tackle naps.  We were so scared as we knew there would probably be lots of tears.  We introduced a "lovey" to her and that was the best decision we could have made in starting the process!  It's a monkey and is so special because her Grandpa, Grandma, Uncle Aaron, Aunt Kelly, Uncle Nathan AND cousin, Cora all stood in a store and picked it out special just for her!  Cora made the final decision and she chose Monkey!  I think a picture speaks louder than words, so as you can see Monkey is well loved (or maybe I should say Carly is well loved by Monkey):

 Doesn't that just warm your heart?  Our babysitter actually texted that to me this week.  So precious!  Alright...back to my story.  One day I just explained to Carly that I was going to put her in her crib and introduced Monkey and told her he wanted to sleep with her.  He gave her a kiss then he jumped in the crib and I asked her if she wanted to join him.  I set her down next to him and she immediately put her arm around him.  I melted.  Then I rubbed her back, gave her some shushing noises and placed Monkey's leg on her back for support.  I think she feels more secure with the pressure of his limbs on her.  I also figured out that she likes her head to be stroked with his hand.  It took her about a half hour to fall asleep, but she only full out cried for about 5 minutes.  The rest was just this little whine.  I couldn't believe my eyes.  It worked! It really worked!  She had put her self to sleep with little help from me!  The next nap she cried a bit longer, but was still successful at falling asleep without a major meltdown.  Unfortunately, she took the frustration of having to sleep on her own out on daddy that night.  But I promised him it would get better and after only 5 days of nap training it totally has!  Guess how long it took us to get her to sleep yesterday for all her naps??  Under 5 minutes!! We have already moved to the phase of not offering touch...so we are well on our way to putting her down and walking away, knowing that she and Monkey will figure out how to get themselves to sleep. :)

Carly has also lengthened her naps to 40 minutes rather than 30 and for three days in a row as taken a nap longer than an hour.  HOLY COW!  Seriously...that is incredible for her and hope she can keep it up.  I'm just so happy that all this work is totally paying off!  I bet in a month from now she will be taking naps at totally predictable times just like we know what time she will go to bed and what time she will wake up.  It's really nice.  I am sure there are still many hurdles in this process, but I am going to enjoy the calm moments we are having with it right now!

There you have it...the story of how we've begun to sleep train Carly. I hope it continues to work and that we set her up with the skills she needs to be a successful napper while at daycare.  Any transition is always rough, but with the right encouragement it can be a quick transition rather than a long, hard one.  Carly is SO much happier during the day when she has had good sleep.  I've learned that, according to West, "sleep begets sleep."  And she's right. Praise God for guidance and reassurance to us as parents that we are loving and taking care of His child the way that He desires.