"Lessons Learned"

What a wonderful first year of motherhood I have had.  Like I am anticipating the next several years of my life will be, it was full of learning moments.  I do, however, wish I would have had more encouragement and less advice accompanied by having no expectations of my baby.  If I've learned anything this year, it's this sports analogy:  My baby should dictate the tempo, and I can guide her along by calling the plays.  So...with that said, here is my advice/encouragement to all new mamas.  I hope those of you who have also recently entered motherhood or who will soon step into the great journey, that you'll find encouragement in my lessons learned and always take heart that you are not alone!  We all struggle the first year...we just don't all admit to it. ;)

Here's the list I wish someone would have spelled out for me the first few weeks home from the hospital:

1. You are not a perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your baby 

2. God has entrusted this child to you, He has confidence in your decisions
3. Do what your instincts tell you...know one else knows this baby like you do
4. Acknowledge that your baby is different than every other baby because each baby is unique
5. Your primary responsibility in life is to love on that sweet baby
6. Don't compare...just don't.
7. Some days it's going to be tough, just know that going into it and don't expect anything more
8. Don't let them tell you nursing will take the pounds right off--my weight didn't start coming off until the weaning process began around 11 months
9. Try to stop yourself from feeling bored or wishing the days away-you only get this calm time with your first born once
10. The sleep patterns of your baby should not determine the level of happiness you have with him/her and do not reflect your parenting skills
11. Nursing can be so difficult and doesn't work for every mom but if you can get through the first 3 weeks with no bottle the rest will be much easier.
12. No guilt. Don't let Satan influence your thinking that you're doing something wrong.
13. Don't try to be super mom, because bottom line is you aren't, yet...but take heart, you'll get there!
14. The first few weeks are hard! Your hormones drastically come down on day 5; so don't be surprised if you spend the whole day crying.
15. When your baby gets sick, take heart that in most cases health is right around the corner...the week that we first traveled to Iowa, Carly was only 6 weeks old and much of the trip she would vomit everything she ate.  I was worried about her and my cousin said that in the moment it seems like it's never going to stop, but then a few short days later you look back and say, "remember last week-I thought we'd never get through that!" :)
16. Do what's best for your family and don't listen to the pressures that can be placed on you (i.e. keeping your baby up past nap time or bedtime to play, letting someone get in the way of a schedule that is working well, etc.,etc.  Just do what's best for your little family, even if you end up taking wrath from someone for it).
17. Find someone whose been through it to give you encouragement. Not advice, you'll get plenty of that!  I was fortunate that my best friend had delivered her first born just 8 months earlier, so infancy was fresh on her mind and she showered me with encouragement.  My mother also reinforced for me that I was an excellent Mom, especially when I felt judged by others.
18. Accept that you aren't going to get everything done, especially right away.  If I could go back to that first month, I wouldn't have lifted a finger.  No cleaning, no cooking, just cuddling and napping.
19. Do some reading, but read multiple viewpoints and take it all with a grain of salt.  Your baby is most likely not a textbook baby.
20. You must not worry. Your baby will wake up the next day, unless God decides otherwise, and you cannot control His will, so you might as well just get a good nights sleep.

So there you have it, my top twenty pieces of advice/encouragement, primarily for the first three months.  After the first three months, you tend to figure a lot of this out anyway...because you get to know your baby and your baby gets to know you.  I was so hard on myself the first three months of Carly's life, and I truly hope that this list can inspire other moms not to put so much pressure on themselves and their baby.  Once I realized these 20 truths, my time with Carly was much more precious.

Philippians 4:6-7

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, 

by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, 

present your requests to God.  

And the peace of God which transcends all understanding 

will guard your hearts and your minds in 

Christ Jesus."