Project 365: {Days 50-56}

Day 50: Spash Pad fun at DTD

Day 51: C's Birthday celebration: morning spent at Typhoon Lagoon Water Park, evening spent at Magic Kingdom!

Day 52: A long 3 days of a very fussy baby began & one who was only content in his sling, thus this became my only view of him

Day 53: A great view!  The epidome of my house right before bed...a nicely vacuumed floor b/c it's one of C's favorite activities, lots of books, her basketball, a brother who likes to chill (when he's not having a freak 3-days of fussiness) & two hands in the popcorn bowl; which is made almost daily. :)

Day 54: Feeling blessed to get to stare at these very-different-looking faces all day, everyday

Day 55: This is as big as brother's eyes get...and not near the size of his sissy's

Day 56: C & Madelynn sure love to swing!

"Let It Be"

Around the time Carly turned one, I decided to document 20 lessons I had learned as I celebrated one year of being a mother.  I thought I'd continue to write down some key learning's...so as my two-year motherhood anniversary was this week, here's what I've learned this year.

1. God designed me as a wife, first

There was a point this year when I realized that I was making decisions that favored my child over my husband.  There is no excuse for me to be short with him because I've had a long day, because I don't agree with a parenting move he made or because I need someone to take out my frustration on.  It's my job to serve him and whether he shows me gratitude in the way I desire (which he SO often does), I should take joy in and find ways to make his life better.  And..."I'm too tired" doesn't cut it as an appropriate response for any question he may pose.  I'm in NO way claiming that I've mastered this, and in fact stating that it is an area for improvement.

2. My calling in this life stage is to pour into my children

I'm continually working on this...making a choice to give them my undivided attention and not grow weary!  We are selfish beings, so there are days I long for time to sit on the couch with some hot chocolate and watch a marathon of television.  There are mornings I'd love to go to the gym, take my Bible to a coffee shop and read, or hey...even clean my house.  But when those feelings start creeping in I have to remind myself that the work I'm doing now, rearing my children, is so much more important than any other way I could be spending my time.  I have to find energy for the 100th time of "ring around the rosie" when my cup is empty, find grace when she's rubbed her food in her hair even though I can't seem to see straight & patience to play a game "just one more time" even when my plate is full. 


3. Can I say "YES" to her request?

As parents, we so often have to use or imply the word, no.  We have to make sure our kids eat healthy, stay safe, get plenty of rest, are clothed, bathed, etc.  This year I began to take note of just how many times I have to put a limit on my child, and how many times I see other parents putting limits on their children.  I began to ask myself if the limit I was making was truly necessary and if I was saying "no" for selfish reasons.  Was I saying she couldn't play in the rain because I didn't want the hassle of wet clothes?  Was I making her come inside when she asked to play in the car (she loves to pretend she's driving) because I didn't want to sit there?  Did I ask her to leave the kitchen when I'm preparing food because I'm not patient enough to allow her to help?  Do we really have to leave the park right now or am I just getting tired of standing? 

4. Guiding, not forcing

I used the sports analogy of letting her dictate tempo while I call the plays in my post about my learning's from year one.  I think too often we try to make our kids into what we want them to be or what social expectations wants them to be, rather than drawing up plays based on who they are. 

5. Communication is the key to any healthy relationship

I will stand by this statement a thousand times over...I truly believe that those who communicate openly are happier & emotionally healthier than those who do not.  One way I've learned this throughout the year in parenting Carly is that expectations need to be fairly laid out and I owe it to her to give her a reason for why she can or cannot do something.  When she begins to whine and cry, our first response is to encourage her to use her words.  When both her and I are communicating to one another, our entire day goes more smoothly.

6. Celebrate progress

I'm continually learning to enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination.  I need to remember to take note of the small victories and celebrate each step of the way.

7. Out with the Mama guilt

Life is balancing act.  We all know that.  Everything in moderation, right?  This applies to motherhood as well.  I was terrible about having grace on myself through year one, and have continued to have mama guilt through year two.  But...it's OK that we stayed in the house all day, it's OK that she watched an hour of TV today...it's OK that she probably had too much sugar...it's OK that I snapped at her when I shouldn't have because I'm learning, she's learning and we have a established a bond that wont be broken by a few imperfections.

8. Get up & make memories!

On the flip side of the statement, "yes it's okay that we spent the day at home"...this can't be the motto for everyday in my book.  Once we reach our destination, I am always glad we decided to have the hassle of stocking the diaper bag, getting everyone dressed, packing snacks, getting out the door and to whatever location (usually Disney World) to enjoy exciting adventures with one another.

9. It's never too early to start talking about the love of Jesus

We began praying with her the day she was born, and have always said a family prayer before dinner.  Recently, we have started asking her questions about who her creator is and why she was created.  We read from the Bible, remind her Jesus loves her and enjoyed putting great emphasis on Him during Christmas.  She has caught on in a way that may surprise some.

10. Let it be

This list largely encompasses a mama who loves her kids so deeply and only desires to be the mother God has created me to be.  It is a reminder that I must have much flexibility, patience & stock up every ounce of energy I can.  Ebb & flow, give & take and...let it be.

Galations 6:9
"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.
At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up." 

"Miss Independent" {Carly 2 Years}

My, my, we have a TWO year old running through our home.  Can you believe it?  On the one hand it seems like Carly has been in our life forever but on the other hand two full years have gone by rather quickly.  Honestly speaking, I didn't think we'd still be here on her second birthday...but here we are celebrating Carly turning two years old in the sunshine state!

You know I could say a million things about her...as these posts about her development seem to go on and on.  She continues to move so fast and change so quickly there is just too much I want to document.  I continue to do zero reading on toddler development, so I have no research to back up my claim that she has revealed herself to be a smart little girl...but based on the comments I get from family, friends, Sunday School teachers & strangers, I think she is doing quite well in the world of development.  Her language skills continue to amaze us...as she is often speaking in full sentences, using words we had no idea she knew & recognizing all sorts of colors, letters, numbers, animals, shapes, house hold items, foods ,etc.  One day we were standing in line to ride "It's a Small World" and the the queue is designed with multiple shapes.  I was carrying her and she started pointing to the shapes and shouting their names.  What?!  Where did she learn those?  We decided that she is soaking up way more than we thought from the books we read and the games we play. 

Carly is a pretty busy lady, so sitting on our lap for more than about 4 books is pushing it, but we sit down to read 4 books continually throughout the day.  I'd say it takes her 1-2 times of listening to a book to have it nearly memorized.  I will often leave out the last word in a sentence and she will chime in with the correct word to complete the sentence most of the time!  She'll point to letters in books or on street signs and tell me what they are, and she'll shout, "blue car!" as she sees one drive by.

She repeats EVERYTHING we say.  Sometimes it's quite hysterical, other times it reminds us to watch what is coming out of our mouths.  Here are some of my favorites:

• Luke was crying as I was changing his diaper and Carly started saying, "oh me, oh my, oh me, oh my" and left his room, went into hers and shut the door!  Oh how she does not like it when he cries!  She is SO quick to come to his rescue & it melts my heart every time.
• I realized I say the following to Luke on a regular basis only because each time he cries Carly says, "oh I know, buddy, I know."  I laughed pretty hard the first time she said that. :)
• She dropped a bunch of chocolate chips on the kitchen floor and said: "Oh shoot!"  I think both Brian & I say that one.
• "How's my day, mommy?"  Daddy asks us that ("how was your day?") each day when he comes home from work.
• "How's it go-nin?"  I love the way she says, goin' and picked that phrase up in the last few weeks.
• Anytime she wants more of something, she tilts her head down and slightly to the side, looks up and sticks out one finger and with such inflection says: "One more time."  Then she nods & smiles because she knows she's going to get her way.  It's really the cutest thing she says.

Carly loves life.  She is happy so much of the time and continues to love being on the go and being surrounded by people.  When I was thinking of a "favorites" list for her, I just thought...well goodness, what doesn't she like?!  Other than being bored and getting her diaper changed (potty-training is coming to a post near you)...along with being told she can't do something...I'd say life is her favorite.  But here's my best attempt at a favorites list:

• Food: Pizza, hotdogs, popcorn &...candy! (she is her father's daughter)
• Color: Blue or Pink
• Character: Minnie
• Attraction: Carousel
• TV Show: Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
• Place to go: Truly a tie between WDW & Church
• Indoor activity: Vacuuming 
• Outdoor activity: Playing basketball
• Outfit: Any pretty dress
• Toy: Music table

Carly is 24 1/2 pounds and 32 1/2 inches tall.  Just a few more inches away from being able to ride Goofy's Barnstormer!  She has 12 teeth...8 of which are her front ones so we often wonder how she can chew so effectively!  She wears a size 7 shoe (almost), 2T or 3T tops and can squeeze into some of her 9-month leggings!  She wears size 4 diapers and hopefully we can find big girl panties small enough to fit her little bum!

Carly rarely puts up a fight when taking a nap or going to bed.  She sleeps 9 1/2-10 hours at night and generally 2 hours during the day.  We often hear her playing before she falls asleep and if she rested well enough, she also plays in her bed when she wakes up.  If she wakes up crying, we know she has not slept long enough and start holding our breath that she will fall back to sleep or it's going to be a long day. ;)

If I compiled all the trends from this year...it probably boils down to this:  She loves music, loves to be outdoors, is SO attracted to water, sleeps fairly consistently although never long enough for her age "standard," is a pretty good eater, doesn't stop moving, and desires to be social all of the time (we went to the park last night and as we approached the playground she yelled, "KIDS!" at the top of her lungs and started clapping!).  Her stuffed animals are her friends and she loves anything and everything that has to do with Mickey and the gang.  She giggles a lot, does not like to be snuggled, is strong-willed with a sensitive heart and truly brings so much joy to Brian & I.  I wouldn't change her if I could and LOVE watching her grow, learn & develop.  I thank God every day for such a happy & healthy kid and ask His continued blessing on her precious life.

Happy Birthday, Carly Ann. :)

Project 365: {Days 43-49}

Day 43: Helping Daddy build a bookcase

Day 44: First family photo with characters

Day 45: Happy V-Day, Luke turns ONE month and G&G arrive!

Day 46: Celebrating Carly turning TWO with G&G

Day 47: Luke showing off his neck strength

Day 48: Obsessed with taking sleeping photos of my prince

Day 49: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLY!  Sky Zone jumping to start the day!

"Beautiful Boy" {Luke 1 Month}

Luke is one month old! We have had a fun-filled month learning to be a family of four and introducing our precious son to our parents, who so faithfully come to Florida to visit us and our kiddos.  Here are my reflections of the first month...just as I reflected once reaching that one-month mark with Carly. 

Nursing

Nursing was one thee toughest parts during Carly's first year of life.  It took my milk a week to come in, Carly had a weak latch, I was so sore I'd cringe each time she latched and to top it off she wasn't gaining weight!  With Luke, my milk came in while I was still in the hospital, he latched instantly upon meeting me and has already gained nearly a pound since birth (which is a pound & a half more than he was when he left the hospital).  I am over-producing and Luke only has to feed one side before his tummy is full.  He eats in less than 15 minutes and is on a pretty good schedule of eating every 2.5 hours.  It's going great.

Sleeping

So then there's sleeping.  Luke cannot and will not sleep on his own.  There have been 4 times in a month where he has slept longer than an hour without waking up all dismayed that he's not being held.  Around week three I was really beginning to get frustrated and was having all this guilt about him co-sleeping with me.  Well, friends, here's the deal:  do what works for your family.  I didn't buy into that saying when I was parenting Carly.  I thought I was obligated to parent my infant by what the books would tell me or it would destroy her for life.  No, really, I thought that.  I thought that if I didn't put her down for a nap during week 2 that it would ruin any sort of schedule in month 3.  I thought if she didn't stay on a perfect schedule each and every day a routine would be ruined for weeks.  What I've learned is that these babies change so quickly that the routine gets "messed up" merely because their needs are different week to week.  So with Luke we are taking it one day at a time.  He sleeps best when he's in my arms, so that's where I'm going to let him sleep.  It works for our family and by gully I LOVE getting to snuggle him all night long.  Did you now Americans are one of the only countries who don't sleep with their children?  Did you know that the majority of co-sleeping fatalities are due to substance abuse & obesity?  I didn't know that either, until some encouraging friends and family members encouraged me to rid myself of the mama guilt and do what worked for us. :)

Comparisons

I am fully delighting in the difference of my children and their precious personalities.  Differences in humans is what makes the world go round and it is certainly going to add spice into our family.  Here's a run down of my kids at one month of age:

Carly's awake time was mostly crying, Luke enjoys looking around and is almost always happy during awake time.  Carly slept great in her crib and by week 3 was giving us 7 hour night stretches...Luke can barely make it 4 and refuses to sleep alone.  Carly sucked (pun intended) at nursing, Luke's a pro.  Carly demanded to be held facing the world, Luke wants to cuddle.  Carly had to be bounced profusely on a ball to fall asleep, Luke just wants his little back patted. Carly was rolling, cooing & smiling at one month...Luke is just beginning to make eye contact.  Carly is strong-willed, Luke is pretty chill. Carly screamed at the top of her lungs every time we were in the car, Luke just generally lets himself fall asleep.  Carly's a girl...Luke's a boy...Carly was a nugget, Luke is a growing machine.  These infants are as different as different can be and I'm finding great joy in learning to be a mother who meets the needs of her kids on a very individual level. :)

Happy Little Fellow

I'd say you've gotten a pretty good picture into the life of Luke.  He handles lovin' from his sissy quite well, loves to be carried in my sling, wants to snuggle all day and all night and has a pretty go-with-the-flow personality.  He has already made our lives fuller and given his mama & papa much joy.  I love watching him grow and look forward to watching a friendship blossom between him & his big sis.

Luke has gotten himself on a pretty good schedule, without too much guidance from me.  He tends to sleep a good 10 hour chunk at night (of course waking up every 2-3 hours to eat), has 2 good hours of awake time in the morning, an hour in the afternoon and 2 good hours in the evening after a very long afternoon nap.

Luke is 9 pounds, 3 ounces (before a feeding...6 ounces after) and 21 inches long and can wear a lot of his 3-month clothing.  He checked out great with the doctor!  Here are some pictures of him in his adorable sock monkey outfit a friend sent in the mail!

Project 365: {Days 36-42}

Day 36: Morning play time with Aria & Anya

Day 37: Closing our family day with snuggles & popcorn

Day 38: Tummy time

Day 39: A text we sent to daddy at work showing him we had our first try at errands; one stop being successfully picking up my new glasses :)

Day 40: Both kiddos snuggling in mama's bed

Day 41: {Insert your own caption here} ;)

Day 42: Carly's pre-Valentines Day date with Holden on the beach

"Great is Thy Faithfulness"

Luke 6:38

"Give, and it will be given to you.  A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap.  For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." 

We chose this verse for Luke after hearing a lesson spoken on it at church in September.  Our desire is that Luke can grow in faith & love while following hard after his Savior.  We hope that Luke can give of himself to his family, to his church and to his God: pressed down, shaken together and running over.  Give all that he has to give, pursue with all that he can pursue with.  

My birth story with Luke is quite different than my birth story with miss C.  I had a an OB apt early Monday morning.  I hadn't progressed from the week before and was measuring 2cm & 70% effaced.  My midwife asked me if I wanted my membranes stripped, and without knowing much about that I said OK!  My first fairly painful contraction came in the car on our drive to the Boardwalk, where I had planned to spend the rest of the morning allowing Carly to run around in the beautiful 60 degree weather.  I continued to have significant contractions all day long, to the point that I texted one of my best friends & my mama that they were painful enough to have to stop and breathe through them.  My mom texted back, "are you sure you're not in labor??"  I told her I was sure. ;)  About 5pm they became quite regular, moving from 7 minutes to 5 minutes within the hour.  I was texting Brian at work each time I would have one.  By the time he got home I got on the floor and began to cry.  At that moment I had decided that I wasn't ready to have this baby yet and I certainly wasn't ready to leave my daughter.   I knew I was in labor and knew our lives were about to change quite drastically.  Carly saw me crying and came running over to give me a hug & kiss.  She's such a sweetheart.  I got out my exercise ball, texted my midwife & called my mom.  Then I called my friend & neighbor, Jess to come play with Carly until her nanny, Jen, could arrive to spend the night.  Brian packed up the car while I bounced and ate a big bowl of cereal.  I could barely say goodbye to Carly without crying...but she loves Jess, so she was occupied with playing, which I was so thankful for.  Jen reported later that night that Carly was doing fine and had gone to bed quite nicely.

Triage was NOT a fun experience.  When I delivered Carly at Celebration, I was escorted directly up to the Baby Place.  I don't even remember checking in when we arrived at the ER.  But, because Winnie Palmer Hospital is thee top birthing center in Florida, and in the top 5 nationally, their ER/Triage is set up to monitor a woman in labor.  It took 3 hours before I was finally admitted.  They wanted to get an IV going (which I begged for a saline lock but was not granted one) & wanted to get a good reading on babies heart rate as well as check me for dilation.  All things I wanted nothing to do with (okay...I wanted to know my baby was fine...but I truly believed with all my heart that he was).  I begged for a exercise ball and when denied one I took the liberty of doing hundreds and hundreds of squats...which of course did not allow for a great reading on baby's heart.  My initial blood pressure was super high...and because I was deemed to have preeclampsia with Carly they were a bit nervous.  I was like, "Hey! You took that during a contraction...don't make any decisions until you let me calm down and it's taken a few more times!"  Brian was texting my midwife all throughout my time in triage which gave me a sense of peace that she was fighting for me to labor the way I wanted to.  I know when you choose to give birth in a hospital there are going to be some restrictions...but I SO desired a natural birth, and knew what it would take to make that happen.  Laying still in a bed was not in that plan.

So...after some vomiting & some tears, off to the delivery floor we went.  The midwife on call that night had EXCELLENT bedside manner, and my sweet sweet nurse did everything in her power to allow me to labor the way I wanted.  We had to compromise where I had 5 minutes my way, 5 minutes their way.  After about 4 hours of proving my baby was just fine, I was finally allowed to be free of the monitors for an hour or so.  I spent the majority of my entire labor doing squats or bouncing quite vigorously on the ball.  A few times I crawled into bed and had Brian put pressure on my back, and a few times I put my head in my elbows and stood at the end of the bed while Brian put pressure on my back.  We tried the tub but that was a FAIL. OUCH!  Oh man, folks, labor is seriously the worst pain EVER.  I had forgotten how painful it was until we were in the car and my contractions were getting stronger. I said to Brian, "oh...I remember this pain now!"

Labor is a mental game. It's a time where you have to relax while you feel like you are being stabbed with knives. When you are nearing the end of pregnancy, it is quite common for women to share their birth stories with you.  Some women would prefer to not talk about it, particularly those horror stories we hear, but I enjoy the topic.  I spent a lot of time absorbing how my colleagues, friends & family had experienced labor, especially labor for the second time.  Because of this, I went into my labor with Luke expecting it to be half the time of my 14-hour labor with Carly.  I had very few tell me that their second labor was as long or as difficult as their first.  So...why would mine be any different?  I should have never ever set my expectations to that.  Luke's labor only ended up being an hour shorter than Carly's.  So mentally, when I hit the 10-hour mark & my water had yet to break and I had only progressed to 6cm, I began to lose my mental strength.

Labor is also a physical game.  My frequent readers know how hard I worked to stay in the best shape I could while I was pregnant.  I was determined to not gain the 70 pounds I gained with C, but I was also determined to give my body the strength to get through a natural labor.  I knew my legs could handle doing hundreds of squats and I knew I could work with my muscles to relax.  I knew I had withstood labor pains once & was confident I could do it again.  Once again, that 10-hour mark rolled around and I lost the strength to relax.  I was tired.  I was sweaty.  I was frustrated that I was working with gravity and this baby wasn't coming.  I had been awake for 24 hours.  I was done.

Because I was no longer progressing, I knew it was time to break my water.  I kept hearing voices from friends saying that after water breaks it becomes more painful. WRONG!  I spent my entire labor with Carly with a broken sack and I can tell you now that in my case, contractions are every bit as painful whether that water is broken or not!  Why didn't I listen to myself?  I began to wonder if after my water was broken if I'd be able to endure even worse pain than I was already enduring.  I also wondered how many more hours I could continue in hard labor.  I also.....knew how great getting an epidural feels.  I knew relief was just a few minutes away any time I was ready to take it.  Oh how that is SO hard to deny when you are mentally & physically spent!  I looked up at my nurse and said, "I know it's a fail...but I'm ready for the epidural."  She assured me it was not a fail and asked why I thought that.  I told her I so badly wanted to feel what a natural labor felt like; to which she responded. "Girl you've felt it all night long!"

The needle in my back was no big deal (isn't it funny that compared to labor pains a huge needle being stuck in your back doesn't even hurt?) and it immediately took the edge off.  I was ready to get the show on the road...so up next was bursting my water.  I was SO happy when the midwife announced it was clear!  I rested for about 20 minutes before feeling pushing contractions and began bearing down.  My nurse checked me and guess who went from a 6 to a 10 almost immediately?  This girl.  I began pushing and another 20 minutes later Luke had arrived! The nurse looked at me and said..."I don't think you got your money worth on that epidural!"  She was right...the feeling hadn't even been totally taken away yet.  But it really was much less painful.  I did enjoy getting to feel Luke arrive, though, compared to not feeling a darn thing with Carly.  Had I known Luke was going to be born less than an hour after breaking my water, I wouldn't have taken the meds, but I also wasn't willing to take the chance of having to endure more than another hour.  The thought has also crossed my mind that perhaps bc the medicine helped me relax, it gave my body the chance to finish dilating. Perhaps because I had lost the strength to relax it would have taken longer without the epidural?  I guess we will never know.  Maybe by my 4th or 5th kid I'll be able to get through it without medical intervention. ;)

Healthy mama, healthy baby...can you ask for anything more?  I will say that I REALLY enjoyed how considerate Winnie Palmer was of mama/baby bonding.  They cleaned him off right on my belly and allowed for us to have an hour of skin to skin before they took him to get weighed.  Luke began sucking his thumb almost immediately, so I explained to him that if he took his finger out of his mouth he could probably get some food.  I was thankful for an instant latch. :)  Nursing has been a piece of cake compared to C and my frustrating adventure.  I'm also producing so much more milk with Luke than I did with Carly.  Again, so thankful!

I love being in the hospital right after birth...it's so peaceful and such great bonding.  Luke and I cuddled all day and all night!  By evening I was ready to see my girl...so I was thankful to give her a big squeeze when she arrived with that man I love so much.  It was fun to see my family of FOUR!

Project 365: {Days 29-35}

Day 29: Luke's fist time in ISU gear!

Day 30: Nana played w/C so I could go to the closing party for Team Mickey at work! Luke came, too. ;)

Day 31: Dinner @ Hollywood & Vine

Day 32: Nana's Birthday...why did I only get a picture of Bapa?

Day 33: Posing after church

Day 34: Spent the morning at Magic Kingdom!

Day 35: First day alone with my kiddos...Carly dancing for Luke