"Let It Be"

Around the time Carly turned one, I decided to document 20 lessons I had learned as I celebrated one year of being a mother.  I thought I'd continue to write down some key learning's...so as my two-year motherhood anniversary was this week, here's what I've learned this year.

1. God designed me as a wife, first

There was a point this year when I realized that I was making decisions that favored my child over my husband.  There is no excuse for me to be short with him because I've had a long day, because I don't agree with a parenting move he made or because I need someone to take out my frustration on.  It's my job to serve him and whether he shows me gratitude in the way I desire (which he SO often does), I should take joy in and find ways to make his life better.  And..."I'm too tired" doesn't cut it as an appropriate response for any question he may pose.  I'm in NO way claiming that I've mastered this, and in fact stating that it is an area for improvement.

2. My calling in this life stage is to pour into my children

I'm continually working on this...making a choice to give them my undivided attention and not grow weary!  We are selfish beings, so there are days I long for time to sit on the couch with some hot chocolate and watch a marathon of television.  There are mornings I'd love to go to the gym, take my Bible to a coffee shop and read, or hey...even clean my house.  But when those feelings start creeping in I have to remind myself that the work I'm doing now, rearing my children, is so much more important than any other way I could be spending my time.  I have to find energy for the 100th time of "ring around the rosie" when my cup is empty, find grace when she's rubbed her food in her hair even though I can't seem to see straight & patience to play a game "just one more time" even when my plate is full. 


3. Can I say "YES" to her request?

As parents, we so often have to use or imply the word, no.  We have to make sure our kids eat healthy, stay safe, get plenty of rest, are clothed, bathed, etc.  This year I began to take note of just how many times I have to put a limit on my child, and how many times I see other parents putting limits on their children.  I began to ask myself if the limit I was making was truly necessary and if I was saying "no" for selfish reasons.  Was I saying she couldn't play in the rain because I didn't want the hassle of wet clothes?  Was I making her come inside when she asked to play in the car (she loves to pretend she's driving) because I didn't want to sit there?  Did I ask her to leave the kitchen when I'm preparing food because I'm not patient enough to allow her to help?  Do we really have to leave the park right now or am I just getting tired of standing? 

4. Guiding, not forcing

I used the sports analogy of letting her dictate tempo while I call the plays in my post about my learning's from year one.  I think too often we try to make our kids into what we want them to be or what social expectations wants them to be, rather than drawing up plays based on who they are. 

5. Communication is the key to any healthy relationship

I will stand by this statement a thousand times over...I truly believe that those who communicate openly are happier & emotionally healthier than those who do not.  One way I've learned this throughout the year in parenting Carly is that expectations need to be fairly laid out and I owe it to her to give her a reason for why she can or cannot do something.  When she begins to whine and cry, our first response is to encourage her to use her words.  When both her and I are communicating to one another, our entire day goes more smoothly.

6. Celebrate progress

I'm continually learning to enjoy the journey and not worry about the destination.  I need to remember to take note of the small victories and celebrate each step of the way.

7. Out with the Mama guilt

Life is balancing act.  We all know that.  Everything in moderation, right?  This applies to motherhood as well.  I was terrible about having grace on myself through year one, and have continued to have mama guilt through year two.  But...it's OK that we stayed in the house all day, it's OK that she watched an hour of TV today...it's OK that she probably had too much sugar...it's OK that I snapped at her when I shouldn't have because I'm learning, she's learning and we have a established a bond that wont be broken by a few imperfections.

8. Get up & make memories!

On the flip side of the statement, "yes it's okay that we spent the day at home"...this can't be the motto for everyday in my book.  Once we reach our destination, I am always glad we decided to have the hassle of stocking the diaper bag, getting everyone dressed, packing snacks, getting out the door and to whatever location (usually Disney World) to enjoy exciting adventures with one another.

9. It's never too early to start talking about the love of Jesus

We began praying with her the day she was born, and have always said a family prayer before dinner.  Recently, we have started asking her questions about who her creator is and why she was created.  We read from the Bible, remind her Jesus loves her and enjoyed putting great emphasis on Him during Christmas.  She has caught on in a way that may surprise some.

10. Let it be

This list largely encompasses a mama who loves her kids so deeply and only desires to be the mother God has created me to be.  It is a reminder that I must have much flexibility, patience & stock up every ounce of energy I can.  Ebb & flow, give & take and...let it be.

Galations 6:9
"So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.
At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up."