"I Once Was Blind But Now I See"

I’ve recently finished a three month journey to “becoming me.”  I reached a point in October that although I was certainly happy; there were simply large areas of my life that needed improvement.  I wrote shortly after I had Luke that I was comfortable in my skin and that was completely honest; but as the months passed I was ready for a change—and one that was directed at a healthier me (with hopes of some weight loss as a result, of course).  I expressed some concerns to Brian about wishing I could wear my old clothes, about wanting to get back into the gym rather than just running; which is what I’ve been doing all year…and that I needed support.  He decided to wholeheartedly come alongside me on a journey to a healthier me (have I mentioned how grateful I am for that man?) and joined me in a better eating regimen and at the gym.  He also encouraged me to get help for the extreme head pain I was having and was more than supportive of me leaving all the time for doctor’s appointments to understand why I had never ending chronic pain.  Pain that would frequently have me in tears and was beginning to effect overall functionality as I would sometimes have loss of vision and feel dizzy walking down the stairs with both children in my arms or doing everyday normal tasks; not to mention getting up every night with our baby.  I guess what I’m trying to say is we’ve made a lot of changes the last three months; which have led to other changes, and a much happier & more stable me.  If you are interested in the journey, read on.

Before I get too far into all the changes I made...thee most life changing was to have Lasik vision correction surgery! At my 2-week post op appointment I was seeing 20/15! I really didn't know how much I was missing and am so grateful my parents helped me get this done.  It's already decreased head aches and head pain...along with some other changes I've made...

Food

Meal Planning
In August I decided I needed to “eat healthier” so I set out to do so.  What I quickly found out was I have very little self control when it comes to grabbing a handful of nuts, a cookie, drinking a caloric beverage, etc.  So even though I was eating a salad for lunch and incorporating fruits and vegetables throughout the day I was completely and utterly cheating.  I realized “everything in moderation” didn’t work for me (I’m an extremist and have always always struggled with having balance in my life…but that’s sort of a whole new topic) and that keeping a food diary didn’t work either.  I had to plan out every meal and every snack for 7 different days, and each day chose what meal plan I was going to follow.  Essentially, I was only allowing myself chicken, turkey, fish, eggs, legumes, fruits & vegetables (and bread 2/week).  If it wasn’t on the list it didn’t go into my mouth…even if it was ONE animal cracker that the kids were munching on.  No balance, complete control.  

Portion Control
It doesn’t matter if you are eating the “healthiest” meal around, if you end up eating 2 chicken breasts or 2 servings of almonds instead of one, you aren’t on a “diet.”  So in order to lose weight you have to eat healthy and eat small amounts of healthy food.  That’s my unprofessional opinion, anyway.

Sugar
I gave it up. I had to.  More on this later.

Positive Thoughts
I worked my booty off for 2 months and lightened up a little bit the 3 weeks during Christmas (I allowed myself to snag a handle for chex mix, for example, or took ONE bite of dessert) leading up to our Iowa Christmas vacation.  I did a SMALL amount of research and sort of bought into the idea that if you choose to break a diet and are excited about it rather than timidly caving and being filled with guilt over a brownie than your body will process it better.  So Brian & I both knew that being in Iowa and having Christmas celebrations would not aide a diet and therefore we should be intentional about making good decisions but also allow ourselves some dessert, etc.  I just told myself I had to use moderation and breaking for 10 days worked really well.  I was ready to jump back in after NYE and continued to be pretty strict for one more month until choosing to break diet for a CRUISE!

Exercise
I’ve always known that you have to have variety in your work out regimen, just like I’ve always known I need a good 5 servings of fruits and vegetables per day….but that doesn’t mean I oblige!  I have always been faithful to exercise, but at this point going for a 3-mile run, 4 times/week just wasn’t going to assist in making changes to my body.  I began hitting the weights and doing plyometrics alongside running, and those three things created more muscle mass which helped burn fat.  I have really enjoyed getting into lifting again!

Devotions
Being disciplined in diet and exercise translated into other areas of my life.  Making if more of a priority to be reading the word and in prayer was obviously a win.  Again, this is always something I’ve seen a need for, but I will admit that as a working mama of littles it can be difficult to make time to seek out my Creator.  I love to remind myself, “when you are feeling distant from the Lord don’t forget who did the distancing.”

Head
I’ve mentioned head pain a few times now and truthfully don’t think I have shared with most the impact it was having on my life.  It wasn’t until another friend ended up in the hospital because of very similar symptoms to mine that I realized I needed to get this taken care of.  I just kept thinking the pain would go away and kept popping high dosages of pain killers.  The most natural approach was to start with Chiropractic care, so I found a female doctor 5 minutes from my house and began there.  We quickly realized it was a multitude of factors, something that was treatable but also something that would probably never fully go away.  But at least I wouldn’t have to literally bang my head against a wall to get some relief from the shooting pain into my skull.  My pain level is a thousand times better, but I often still wonder if I should get an MRI done.

Chiropractic care
I began going to the chiropractor twice a week and began to see a noticeable difference in pain level and frequency of pain.   She did X-rays to see that I had reversal in my neck but fortunately did not have degeneration yet.  Her treatment plan was mainly Chiropractic care with some physical therapy.  Bottom line is my neck is damaged, what she referred to as someone who looked like a “car accident victim with whiplash” and it will never be repaired, but with adjustments and muscle strengthening I could assist those nerves in getting through the vertabre.

Physical therapy
I do quite a bit of exercises at my Chiro office, but one of my best friends also happens to be a Physical Therapist in Colorado and sent me ways to help strengthen neck and shoulder muscles. By 3 months into therapy my doctor was noticing a major difference in my neck strength and I was holding my alignment really well! Praise God for less pain and almost no dizziness!

Change of diet
I felt the greatest difference in frequency of pain after I chose to give up sugar.  Even a week in and I was feeling better!  Did you know studies show sugar is more addictive than cocaine?  I had dessert once in 2 months (pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving) and I totally paid for it the next day! Crazy, huh?!

Hormones
This topic actually has to do with both pain management and weight loss.  I have been pregnant or nursing with no break since April of 2011 when Carly was conceived.  I had a small overlap where I was still nursing her and pregnant with Luke for about 2 months.  So…this translates into crazy jacked up hormones for just shy of 4 years at this point.  I have been excited to see who the me no-on-hormones is!  Anyway: to make my point…the first point is that my body holds onto fat in order to produce milk; so despite the fact that MANY women lose weight due to nursing, I just maintained the weight that I left the hospital at.  Literally I walked out of the hospital the weight I would be for the next 9 months.  A bit discouraging if you ask me.  Moral of the story is when I started weaning at 10 months I lost about 3 pounds with every dropped feeding.  My other point in bringing up hormones is that as I tracked frequency and pain level I realized that I was in the most pain during ovulation and didn’t have any pain while menstruating!  I never thought I would say this but I actually texted a friend that I wished I could have my period all the time so I didn’t have to live in such pain!

So there you have it...a glimpse into quite a few changes the past three months.  New sight, renewed strength, 20 pounds down and feeling pretty good. :)

"Christmas In Iowa"

This is Christmas festivities update part 2...eleven days into the new year!  As mentioned in my last Christmas post, we had been in Christmas spirit for a while before the celebrations actually happened; but there is something special about being "home" for the holidays...and particularly in the great state of Iowa.  During our 9-day stay in the {over-cast state} (sorry...pun intended), we were delighted to celebrate Christmas with both of our immediate families and my extended family.  Had we just been there one day more we would have also been able to see Brian's extended family.  Someday, maybe!  Upon arriving back to Florida we had our own Christmas celebration and did a few more things in the parks.  Here's the scoop:

Weiss Family Christmas
How fun to all be in the same place...and celebrating a holiday together! This hasn't happened since 4th of July 2013!  This year we have added a Weiss wife & two baby boys to the family rounding us out to an even 6 ladies and 6 gents in the group!  The day began when Aaron, Kel & Cora arrived at Grandpa & Grandma's house at nearly 10am (you guys seriously rock)!  Although our daughter gets a bit overwhelmed at large social functions; she knew she was excited to see her only immediate girl cousin!  They got right to playing "downstrrs" and did so for the next few days.  Shortly thereafter our first nephew arrived with his parents and we were "fighting" over who got to hold him first (and calling dibs before Grandma got her hands on him). ;)  Rhonda makes a delicious meal and truly values her family sitting around her dining room table. Before lunch we got a family picture and then snapped a few more during present opening.  We played with our new toys, watched a Cyclone win on TV and enjoyed snacks and cookies all evening long!

Stubbs Extended Family Christmas
The next day was Christmas at Grandma/Mimi's house!  This has probably been my most anticipated day of the year nearly my entire life.  Some of my greatest memories come from my Grandpa & Grandma's home.  Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, food & presents galore.  This year was the first in 5 years (no thanks to us) that all 32 of us were able to celebrate Christmas together.  I just know my Grandma worked for weeks preparing food and a Christmas program.  I am salivating just thinking about the prime rib we ate that day.  Mmmmmm.  There are 9 cousins, 3 of which are married.  The Hood's have 5 kids, the Vanderploeg's have 3 kids & we have 2; ten in total & 5 of them 2 and under.  You can imagine the day was blissful chaos.  We were the first to arrive and Carly was immediately drawn to my Grandma's display of hand made children; one to represent each grandchild.  This picture is special to me because I also was fascinated with these dolls each year.

Before lunch I also snagged my family for some quick Christmas pictures & the cousins posed for one, too.

After lunch we played for a while before the great-grand kids put on a delightful Christmas program. Mimi had the narration written out and directed the sweet angels, lambs and Mary & Joseph.  Luke loved ringing his bell!

Each great-grand child also received one special gift from Mimi (the adults did; too, but this year we took them home rather than opening there...can you believe she shopped for all of us?!) which she had pre-opened and put together! They were wrapped in big boxes or had blankets hung over them. Each little one unveiled their gift and they all got right to playing! Carly commented a few days later that Mimi had lots of toys at her house.  She didn't realize they were all presents and will be thrilled when her Frozen blow-up ball pit arrives in her own living room! ;)

I love this picture.

The day quickly drew to a close and I snapped one final picture of my sweet Grandma with my two kids before packing them up and heading to Ames.  Thanks, Grandma, for being such a wonderful host!

Stubbs Family Christmas
Christ Eve Morning our family of 5 plus my two kids (since Brian had gone back to Florida at this point) had another Christmas celebration where we exchanged gifts. Our family tradition growing up was to open our stockings, eat a fancy breakfast and proceed by opening our presents one by one.  Sometimes it would take hours to open gifts which filled the day with lots of conversation.  When I was little I just couldn't wait for it to be my turn again but of course as an adult I love seeing what everyone else is opening, too!

After gifts it was packing and flying for us!  We were so thankful for such a blessed trip to Iowa and also ready to be home.  The flight was good but Luke threw up all over his car seat on the drive home. I'm so glad he didn't do that on the plane!

Establishing Traditions of Our Own
Christmas Day was so chill--we staying inside all day long (until I left for work, anyway) and did lots of cleaning and lounging! Carly was essentially done opening presents after so many celebrations so we actually ended up putting three of them back in the closet and she will get them for her birthday or a rainy day.  We did enjoy having waffles with berries and whipped cream, coffee and egg nog in the morning and since we weren't together on Christmas Eve took part in our annual soup and home made bread meal for dinner.  The day was nice and sweet. :)

I actually think his photo is really sweet. It shows how authentically tired I was after a solo flight only to come home and be up with my sick baby much of the night. ;)

Candlelight Processional
One final Christmas memory was a few days later when we saw Steven Curtis Chapman (my favorite Christian artist of all time) as the narrator at one of the final shows of Candlelight Processional. In order to get a seat at the show these days one must stand in line about an hour so Brian went to EPCOT after work and kids and I joined him just minutes before the show.  I really love the music in it and appreciate that scripture is read.  We take a photo by this tree after watching the show every year. :)

Project 365: {Day 365}

December 31st. New Year's Eve. Here we are the last day of 2014.  It's been a great year.  We have so much to celebrate.  Fortunately for us, Wednesdays just happen to be our family day.  So celebrating is exactly what we did today.  We celebrated by being productive, laying low, reflecting on our year and just being a family.  We ran errands in the morning, the kids took long naps while Brian and I enjoyed some TV time on the couch, went for a walk, spent time playing games at a friends house, came home, put the kids to bed, ate an amazing dinner and spent time as a couple.  We got so carried away reflecting on our year we looked at the clock and it was 11:47pm! Woohoo...we actually made it to midnight and participated in the TV countdown for the first time in 5 years!  Here is our picture for the day:

Memories of 2014

Although I lost all the photos I took this year, my favorites had been uploaded to Shutterfly along the way.  So I went through the 400 photos I had uploaded to this year's album and as I scrolled through I chose my favorite 10 photos from this year.  Drumroll, please.........

This photo was taken on January 18th.  Everyone is a bit bundled except for the over-heated mama who had delivered a baby 4 DAYS EARLIER!  This represents many many family days in the parks and reminds me of SUCH a blessed week we spent getting to know one another as Weiss Party of Four.

We spent so many days at parks in our neighborhood and by summer were venturing out to parks around our community.  This picture represents my maternity leave better than any other.  I wasn't quite brave enough to be out and about with both kids so we spent day after day walking to the park.  Luke would sleep in my sling & he and I would push Carly.  In the evenings and on the weekends (having two days off together was amazing) Daddy would come with us and usually bring a basketball.  I truly delight in our play ground memories from this year.

We love the Boardwalk and visit often!  I love this picture because it was one of the few times I put on make up and posed for a good photo. ;)  We took this same picture when we introduced Carly to Disney World when she was 3 weeks old and here Luke is one month.  It was Valentine's Day, Brian's folks were meeting Luke and I was feeling really good at this point.

This is just one of those examples of a picture I never would have taken had I not been doing this photo journal.  But now I'm glad I have it! We have spent hours around this table this year.  Carly has transitioned to a chair and Luke has transitioned to the high chair that we never even had to put in storage.  I find making lunch to be hard because it's like...gee, how can I get some variety in their day but yet still make it quick?!

Oh we did so much learning this year! I remember this photo is from May because we were making Mimi's birthday card!  I love this picture of Carly--I think it shows her love for life and sheer authenticity.  We play in the living room at or near this little table all the time...countless games & activities.

The lean mean stroller machine!  So grateful my parents made the investment in a BOB!  We used this stroller at least 4 times/week and it has helped me maintain my exercise regimen.  I have jogged this path all year long because I love running on a straight-away and a midst the trees.  I love looking down at my two littles. :)

I remember snapping this photo and instantly loving it! I've gotten some pretty cute pictures this year that again I would not have snagged had I not been diligently trying to get out my camera everyday.  I love that Carly is in her swim suit cover up and we have clearly just arrived home from the pool (pig tails still a bit wet) and are making lunch before the glorious afternoon nap.  They are both so tan!  I bet this is June or July.

Again...I wouldn't have taken this if I hadn't needed a picture to post for the day.  I am glad I have it because it's a reminder that sleeping is such a big deal in the little years!  Luke waited until he was 11 months and 16 days old to sleep through the night so "stuff about sleep" was on my mind all year long.  I personally think every kid needs a lovey and a blankie and my two kids certainly needed their paci as well. ;)

Water, water, water, water, water...splash pads, water parks, swimming pools...a hose.  You gotta have it if you are going to survive the Florida spring, summer & fall and we had our fill and more.  This picture is extra special since this splash area happens to be at Downtown Disney.  Luke had just started crawling so this must be September.

Look how blonde they are in the summer!  I love this picture because I remember that it was taken right after we began having a day off as a family.  After I went back to work we decided to only have a babysitter one day a week which mean't Brian was home alone with the kids on both of his days off.  In July we finally took the plunge of having a day off together and hiring the babysitter for 2 days/week.  I was so happy that we were in the parks as a family!

This is the most recent picture (November) and one I actually forgot to post!  I must have taken a few different photos that day and us playing in the rain must not have been the most memorable event.  I love this picture because it reminds me of all the times we needed some fresh air and ran outside.  It reminds me of the many times we've played in the rain then headed up and all piled into the shower.  It reminds me that Brian and I often comment on how much our children love one another and some days we can't figure out which one loves the other one more. God has blessed us abundantly.

Thinking about our year--not the vacations, the normally documented moments--but the day-to-day--the reason I chose to do this project--to remember the little moments--the moments we spent the most time doing--I was brought to tears with gratitude.  This project encouraged me to pursue joy this year, encouraged me to appreciate the mundane of making lunch, doing another load of laundry because praise God we had dirty clothes from playing outside nearly every. single. day., packing up and going to the pool for the millionth time because we live in a place that is unbearably hot, the once-a-week family days we spent with smiles on our faces walking around the "most magical place on Earth."  The stroller rides, the bike rides, the days at the park, the days in the back yard, going for walks, for drives, play dates, church, naps, errands, candy, baking, cleaning, cleaning some more, becoming tired of cleaning all the time.  I have two precious children and one amazing husband and this year couldn't have been any better.  There have been years where my highs are HIGH and my lows are LOW but this project helped remind me that this year was different.  Yes there were days I was sad and lonely and overwhelmed and wanted to live in a hole...and there were days of vacations and visitors; holidays and celebrations...but EACH DAY WAS A BLESSING....and each day was good.  This was my most balanced year in emotion, thought and contentment.  This was a year of growth and stability and gratefulness.  I loved 2014.  I loved it. And I'm so glad I have 400+ pictures to document the changes my kids went through and the love Brian & I share for one another and for them.  Happy New Year, folks,  Thanks for traveling our year with us.

Project 365: {Days 358-364}

Day 358: Christmas Eve! Brian had returned to Florida on Sunday but the kids and I were able to stay and fly back on this day.  We had one final Christmas celebration with my family that morning!  Our tradition is to do a fancy breakfast and then take time opening our presents one by one.  It was so fun to see all the presents Carly got from her Aunts, Uncles & Grandparents this year.  She was certainly spoiled!  By 1pm I was running around packing in as much as I could to our luggage and by 3pm we were on the road for the airport.  The flight was overall pretty good and we were so thankful to see Daddy!

Day 359: Merry Christmas!! Brian actually had the day off and I didn't go into work until after dinner so we were able to spend nearly the entire day as a family.  It was wonderful!  Our tradition is to make waffles, open gifts and well that's all there is to that at this point.  We don't even do stockings quite yet.  But the day was very productive as we did a lot of unpacking and cleaning while the kids enjoyed new toys! 

Day 360: She loves being tickled.  She comes up to me all the time and throws up her hands while sheepishly saying, "my armpit...mommy..."

Day 361: Seriously.  This table was once fully decorated in Christmas spirit.  Carly, however, decided she was going to re-decorate it for me.  After a day of play this is what our entire house looks like! So many little pieces of random games and toys! And yes please notice that she refuses to put away the pumpkin.  She still asks to go trick-or-treating everyday.

Day 362: At this point it has reached the upper 80s!  HOT! WHY?!  So I am boycotting the sun and sitting in the shade while Carrie, Holden, Carly & Luke are loving an afternoon outside.

Day 363: Aren't they the sweetest? They both love broccoli and this is their favorite way to eat lunch. :)

Day 364: This photo wants to be sideways so I guess that's what we get.  The point is that Luke is throwing with his left arm. I believe when I sent this picture to Brian his response was an Emoji face with hearts for the eye balls. ;)