Carly is three! Which means I've been a mother for three years. Each year I've reflected on the important lessons I've learned. Boy I learned a lot that first year…and continued to see the bigger picture of why we are here and who God designed us to be during Carly’s second year of life. Well here we are and another year has passed—certainly my easiest one when comparing the three—and I do have some take a ways to share. I hope they can encourage you to always pursue growth in yourself, enjoy the journey and do some self reflection along the way.
1. Choose Grace
I don’t think it matters if you are a parent or not, choosing grace is simply what we have been called to do. It’s applicable in all ares of life, marriage and parenting included. This is something I am learning as of recently and how it applies to my life right now. Grace is actually the word I chose to focus on in 2015. There are times I am way to quick to anger and slow to have patience. What I can tell you is as I am on this journey of being the best me I can possibly be, choosing grace before any other reaction during an interaction with my husband or my children, allows for walls to come down rather than be built up.
2. Strive for Balance
Balance was my “word” for 2014. I wanted to achieve balance in managing my husband’s needs, the needs of my children and my own needs. I wanted to be balanced in the way I exercised, ate, worked, volunteered, everything. This girl and her type A personality doesn't lend itself well to balance. Instead, I’ve always been an extremist…for as long as I can remember. It’s either the whole pan of brownies or none at all. I can’t just have one. But! I've come so far in this area throughout this past year and I am so pleased with the result of striving for balance. I have seen a shift in the way I process through my feelings and impulses; and it naturally translates onto those who live with me. Brian is such a picture of balance so fortunately for me I had him helping me achieve *more* balance in my life this year.
3. Enjoy the Journey
I have quite a few friends who had babies this year. A few of my closest friends had their first children and it’s been so endearing to me to hear them talk about their babes. Sometimes I hear something come out of their mouth that I say to myself, “there is no way that is going to go well”…or “they should do this”…or “why haven’t they listened to”….but then I realize that I said the exact same thing when Carly was a baby. We have to figure parenting out on our own. Advice may be helpful sometimes but in the end a little trial and error is okay. How many times do we look back a few years and say, “I wish I knew then what I knew now.” I've decided to be okay with who I’ve been, who I am and look forward to who I will become as I grow and change. So far my three year trek has been pretty rewarding, so I’m going to sit back and allow myself to enjoy the ride.
4. Daily Devotions
How many times will I have to learn that I cannot survive without spending intentional time with my Savior?! How many? I can be as balanced of a human being as they come but if I am not walking day by day with Christ I will never be satisfied with life. It’s like an anti-depressant, a form of medicine I can’t go without. And yet I assure you there were many days this past year I figured I could do it on my own. My happiest days are when I fix the kids breakfast, take my Bible and my coffee and go sit on the couch…even if only for 7 minutes. Time with God helps me achieve the first three things on this list. It’s so worth it.
5. Change is Okay
One of the things that I've found a bit challenging this year is accepting the changes both Carly & Luke are making. It’s like: here we are having the perfect eating schedule/sleeping schedule/daily routine and all of a sudden one of them turns the corner on another milestone and I am fighting to hold on to what we had. The most recent example of this is seeing that Carly’s naps are too quickly coming to an end. Her whole sleep schedule/patterns have changed in the weeks leading up to her being 3 and it’s sending us into a slight tizzy. But she’s THREE! She’s changing and we need to have the flexibility to change with her.
6. Except the Season
Sometimes I so badly want to be able to send my kids to school or over to a friends house so I can go to the gym, run some errands, do a little baking, take on a hobby or veg on the couch. But that’s not the season I’m in and my, my do I know that stage will come all to soon. It’s okay that I don’t always feel like wearing nice clothes because rest assured they will end up with snot or food on them, it’s okay that it takes me 2 hours to run one errand, it’s great that many days I spend hours on the floor investing in the little years. When I was a brand new Mom I envied the Mom’s who had a 2 year old and a baby and yet somehow had time for blogging, crafting, throwing smashingly awesome birthday parties, meal planning and volunteering each week in the church nursery. And I was over here like—holy crap I have one baby and I am way in over my head! But that was the stage I was in—and the journey I was on. Had I just accepted that and realized that not two years later I would also be doing all of those things, I would have been able to have a lot more grace on myself.
7. Meal Plan
I still don’t do this every week—but it makes a big difference when I do. It means only one trip to the store for the week (sometimes we end up there 4 times/week if meal planning hasn't happened), it means healthier meals, it means better time management & it means happy hubby.
8. Document the Everyday
I learned this lesson good last year through Project 365. The little moments that you capture through both photo and video you will always cherish. Someday I will look back and know exactly what our day-to-day lives looked like and not just the holidays, birthdays & special events.
9. Validate Exhaustion
Don’t ever underestimate how tired you are! And for that matter—don’t ever be frustrated with how little you accomplish when you first bring home a baby. Goodness those first three months are so fun but SO hard. Even when we helped Luke transition from nursing twice/night to one/night it made all the different in my functionality for the next day. Do not minimize just how tired you are—and have a little grace for YOU!
10. Clean Up As You Go
It took me all year with two kids to realize that if I would just pick up one activity before moving onto the next that I would feel less overwhelmed at the end of the day.
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